Question by AtomicAlex ^: What do you think of my “possed diary” story so far? Do you have any better titles? Plz don’t copy! -Alex-?
The possed diary 

Prolouge
“Whoever opens this book will have whatever they deseire!” Yelled a clerk merchant from the crowded streets of the dreaded flee market. I caught that. It probally didn’t work. But maybe I should just get a closer look…. My feet made little light steps as I  wondered aimlessly towards the wooden booth. I studied the book carefully. Studying the leather cover and the velvety crimision ribbion binding.  The front said Greatest Wishes in elegant bloody scroll. I mean, it honestly looked like someone had wrote “Greatest Wishes” in someone’s blood. I did a momentary shudder and carefully opened it. The front made a “creek” sound as I opened it. A cloud of dust popped out at me as I opened it along with the “creek” sound. “Carefull..” Chuckled the grungy street merchant “It’s a little dusty.” I flipped through the dusty pages. Each page was black with 6 lines across it. Something caught my eye though, at the bottom of the last line it cutt of saying triple sixes (I won’t even SAY it) then the blood line continued, finishing of the page. “Comes with a pen” said the man again carefully handing me a short dark vase filled with crimision liquid. “Looks like blood” I sad outloud, a little freaked out. “Probally is….” Said the now creepy man with a scoff. “Almost forgot girly it also comes with the quill.” Said the man again handing me a thin stick with a sharp tip. “How much?” I asked my voice shaking a little. “For you girly it’s free…” He said, almost a meanicing look came across his face. “Uhhh sure thanks!” I said timid and grabbed the Diary, Quill, and Blood.  ”Any time Deary Any time…” He said almost cackaling. By now, I was shuffling my feet in a rush, trying to get away from this mad man. “And Deary! Be carefull…” He said with a cold laugh.
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Chapter One
Name: Ivy Poision Sunny 

“Sunny?” Questioned the overrated teenager well looking over my papers. I grimanced. I HATED my last name. “Uhh yeah. I come from a odd family.” I said with a sick expression crossing my face.   Ok I kinda exaggeraded on the “odd” part they were ALIENS for crying out loud! Well, in my point of view theyq were. In Miss Tisdale here (I.e “maddy?”) they were normal people even BETTER then normal people (in her opinion of course.)  She did a fast nod and quickly handed me my scheldule, lock for locker, map and other items containing bright flyers with bold headings saying “school spirit! Let’s hear it! From YOU! The “you” in caps. I crumbled it up and threw it on the ground. “Hey! Goth Girl pick that up now!” I grimanced at the sterotype label “Goth Girl” and turned around with a “what” look on my face th kind that included a hiss. She looked frightend for a second but brushed It of changing to a big huge hapy smile and shoved a detention slip in my hand “Im sorry  batty but as principle of student concil I have the right to give you a detention for litering.” She said enthstiasticlly pointing to the crumbled up flyer. I gave her my worse scowl and took the detention slip crumbling it up and throwing it on the ground. I was so pissed that a growl actally escaped my chest. “Ohhh I’m so scared! What are you going to do batty bite me?” She mocked. Cue in the abnoxious laughter from her friends coming around the corner. “Annoying Barbie.” I muttered under my breath and stomped away.     
 
Dear Diary, 
I normally never write in diary’s… they are for stupid preps like the blonde bimbo is. I just wish a REAL vampire could bite her after she said that stupid remark to me. Stupid barbie in a wig and fake nails with there obbession with pink. Ok well the rest of the day was odd. This school is every sterotype movie I ever saw, probally worse. For starters you go to you’re sterotype. In that clique is a leader and there’s a boy leader and girl leader for each clique. So I got paired with goths for lunch. I’m more my own style. I don’t just sit and talk about pain, write poetry how my life sucks. I wasn’t even allowed to talk to the emos. All of these people are the type that give every sterotype a bad name! Though being “goth” I was naturally accepted into there clique. Though the leader girl thought I was Trying to take her “spot light” so she hated me, and being the immature person I am I think I will… Heh heh… It would be so funny if I could some how get the tough goth into a prep. It would be humiliating! And fun! Her whole wardrobe could change to prep…. Heh heh. But that’s just a thought… 

Name: Ivy Poision Sunny.
When i got to school the next day I walked to my favorite spot (a dark ally behind the school) which is serect no one else has found out about it yet to see a dead corpse laying there. It was blonde bimbo. I looked closer to see blood splattered all over her and her hair and two punctures in her neck. It couldn’t have been? Nah, that guy that sold me the diary was just a cook… Right? My suspesions were confi
Thx I do need to fix grammer… It cut of on me… That wasn’t even how much I wrote…

Best answer:

Answer by Grendal
No, you need to edit this better. There is some good stuff, but it needs to be weeded.

What do you think? Answer below!